


Fawkes in How I Met My Parent - a touching story narrated by Harry James Potter

by Hessy, thefandomcat



Series: How to Train your Phoenix [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Other, Other tags to be added, baby fawkes au, maybe some romance oooo, we wrote this instead of studying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23445403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hessy/pseuds/Hessy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefandomcat/pseuds/thefandomcat
Summary: THIS IS A CRACKFIC“Please keep that monster away from me,” he almost cried.“Malfoy, he is your child, you need to take care of him,” Harry couldn’t resist answering.or the time when Fawkes returned back and chose his parental unit, featuring a lot of screaming, hysterical laughter, and maybe even some embarrassing romance
Series: How to Train your Phoenix [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636030
Kudos: 6





	Fawkes in How I Met My Parent - a touching story narrated by Harry James Potter

Harry sighed.

Eight Year has started a few days ago and it has been a wild ride so far, to say the least. People were expecting things from Harry, especially after he mysteriously disappeared from the public eye after the war trials. And Harry was through with this. He decided to enjoy his last year at Hogwarts as much as possible. Even if he had to run away from hordes of utterly mad girls chasing him, or not answer any of other people’s intrusive questions, especially those about his non-existent career choices.

Most of their year returned to school. All the Gryffindors did, even Ron, of course only after Hermione glared at him when he said he’d rather start Auror training immediately.

The Slytherins had returned all as well. Well, except for Crabbe (for obvious reasons). Harry grimaced inwardly. It wasn’t exactly a good memory and sometimes he wondered whether Malfoy and Goyle were coping with losing their close friend well.

There wasn’t any animosity from the past anymore between them. He and Malfoy would politely nod at each other, Hermione actually started talking to Parkinson a bit (they seemed to get along surprisingly well). They usually kept to themselves though, even though they did join them in the Eight Years’ common room.

“-an’ ye can try feedin ‘em now. Careful for yer fingers, they bite ‘kay?”

Harry snapped from his thoughts.  _ Care of Magical Creatures, you can’t zone out here _ , he reprimanded himself.

Suddenly, it became enormously windy, as if a storm was coming. Except it was still very sunny, not a single cloud in the sky. Harry tried to look around while shielding his face from all the dust and leaves from the forest when he caught Malfoy’s worried look. Harry was confused until he noticed Malfoy was pointing at something in the sky and trying to say something, but Harry couldn’t hear him.

A sudden crash and the wind stopping had everyone turning around. Harry was confused about what he was seeing. It was a… giant ball of fiery red feathers. A huge bird?  _ Oh no _ , Harry thought,  _ no, this is not happening, it is not what I think it is _ . The feathers shifted a bit, showing a head with two bright eyes and a majestic beak.

Everyone was looking around dumbfounded, unsure what to say, until Hagrid promptly ran to nuzzle the creature. “Fawkes, me favourite! Ye’ve grown so much ‘avent ye? Ye’r eatin’ a lot yeah?”

Harry sighed. He knew it.

In a span of three seconds, Fawkes suddenly started burning and was promptly transformed into a pile of soot. “Harry! Ron!” screamed Hermione. Both boys immediately understood and shielded the pile, so it couldn’t fly away (no one has the time or motivation to go on a mission collecting Fawkes’ ashes again, Harry was sure).

Hagrid laughed wetly and blew his nose into his handkerchief. “I missed ‘im so much, Professo’ Dumbledore woul’ always lemme feed ‘im an’ care for ‘im.” All of the present students were still silent, confused as to what on Earth this is about.

Just as Fawkes stuck his head (smaller, but still huge) out of the ashes, someone screamed.

“For Merlin’s sake, can someone finally explain what is going on?! Please?”

Fawkes turned to the source of the voice. It was Malfoy. And Fawkes screamed and scrambled to get to Malfoy as fast as possible. “Wh-Why is this following me? Help?!” Malfoy was crying hysterically while running away from gigantic baby Fawkes who still kept screaming, probably for Malfoy to slow down and pet him.

Everyone was observing the scene with wide eyes, with the Slytherins laughing quietly (notably Parkinson), until Hagrid shouted: “Malfoy! Fawkes is thinkin’ yer his mum! Ye need to stop, he won’ hurt ye!” Parkinson exploded with laughter and Harry couldn’t help but laugh as well.

Malfoy finally tired out from running in circles and flunked himself on the grass.

“Please keep that monster away from me,” he almost cried.

“Malfoy, he is your child, you need to take care of him,” Harry couldn’t resist answering.

“Nooooooo,” Malfoy cried as Parkinson wheezed from afar. “He is your child, oh my sweet Merlin, Draco it is your parental duty.” Everyone was laughing now.

Malfoy sat up and sighed. “It’s not like I have a say in this, is it?” He grimaced. Fawkes nudged him. Malfoy started petting him, with a very defeated expression. Hagrid clapped.

“Fawkes will wanna be with ye at all times, but whenever ye need, ye can bring ‘im here an’ I will take care of ‘im!”

“Yes, sir.” Malfoy hung his head, still petting Fawkes, who was visibly enjoying himself.

Harry chuckled to himself.  _ This year is going to be interesting _ .

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello, hessy and thefandomcat here!
> 
> yes, we are back, quarantined at home, trying (and sometimes miserably failing) to study for uni, so we procrastinate. and what is a better way to do so than just writing a new crackfic!
> 
> this is a continuation of the series and will contain more chapters (mostly because we literally came up with a thousand different scenes in a span of three minutes lord save us). but we hope you like it and we wish it lifts up your spirits while you're sitting at home pondering about existence.
> 
> note: our native language isn't English, so if you see any mistakes, pretend they're part of the crack thANKS


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